Evening everyone, hope everyone’s weekend was splendid. I sure enjoyed mine and don’t want the bf to go back to work tomorrow 😦 It’s too fun hanging out!
This morning we did a trip to the Rocklea markets where the bf had a mince jaffel (toasted sandwich) and I had a customised bacon egg muffin (i removed the top half with cheese and just ate the bottom muffin, piece of bacon and egg). Oh and I had a couple of chicken rice paper rolls- I was quite impressed with my impromptu healthy brekky 😉 Lunch was a monster salad of lettuce, rocket, beans, tuna, tofu, sweet chilli sauce, cucumber, carrot, mushys and tomato 🙂 It was delish and felt good to fill my body with nutritious foods..but that was not the theme for the whole day mind you..which brings me to today’s post topic.
Restricting food and dealing with the food temptations. We all know it’s a recipe for failure. By restricting many people begin a starve and binge cycle whilst also having to deal with the mental struggles of guilt, shame etc and having to put up with the associated physical discomforts. Lets just say it’s stupid and does not work- but yet so many of us put ourselves through this. I will admit I have never REALLY had to deal with the continual cycle- yes I restricted for so long and then went through some bingeing moments..but as soon as I started to binge I realised that I couldn’t starve myself anymore, nor could I live with these crazy food rules and restrictions I had followed so faithfully. I didn’t continue living this way- as soon as those binges hit I knew I couldn’t live like this anymore (to be honest it was so weird and a huge wake up call for me because for a good year atleast I was able to live in restriction, not feeding myself enough and not letting anything I deemed unhealthy cross my lips).
But on a happier note: I am happy to say that I have been binge free for 2 months now! (Happy dance) It feels amazing to not feel like a slave to the food and it feels good to be able to eat what you want without the guilt. And without the secrecy and ‘stuff as much in your mouth as quickly as possible’ moments. But that is definitely not to say that I haven’t overeaten. So many people recovering from ED and eating issues overanalyse everything they do, especially if it has anything to do with food. ‘Normal’ eaters overeat, undereat and eat just the right amount. But what they don’t do is overthink it when they do or make it into a huge deal. When you are recovering and moving away from your eating issues you will have times when you overeat. It’s inevitable- can you really blame your body for not trusting you? But don’t sweat it- merely assess how you feel (sick, full, happy, uncomfortable) and try to remember that next time you want to have two bowls of ice cream instead of one 😉 Mistakes are amazing parts of life, because they are the times that we can learn, grow and become better people/do better things/make better choices.
Basically, what I’m trying to say is that you will go through times when (during recovery) you will binge, over eat or not eat mindfully. We aren’t perfect- actually it’s a wide known fact that humans are full of flaws and imperfections. Just please don’t beat yourself up about it and think you are taking backwards steps. AND DO NOT GO BACK TO RESTRICTING-just continue eating as normal and as your body demands.
The magical thing is that when you take away the restriction you also take away the temptation, the allure, the appeal. Maybe at first when you finally take away the rules and allow yourself to enjoy the beautiful food the world has to offer you will over do it, maybe you will eat till you feel sick- but as days, weeks, months go on this will fade. The novelty of being able to eat anything you wish will change from eating all those you normally restricted to actully eating what your body needs and wants- the nutrients (and ice cream) it craves. You will realise- wait I can have ice cream whenever I want it- but I don’t want it now I actually want a big old salad (should I perhaps use a more realistic scenario, haha?). But seriously think of it this way- Remember being a child playing with your rattle when suddenly your brother comes over and starts playing with your xylophone..and suddenly that becomes the toy you want! Or maybe at the tender age of 8 you couldn’t care less about watching that M rated movie, but then suddenly your parents forbid you to ever watch it and BAM you cannot stop obsessing about watching that movie, it fixates you and you try to sneak around and will do anything to watch that movie and deny your parents. Really that’s what you’re doing with food when you set up unrealistic rules and restrictions- you are setting yourself up for failure. It is only human nature that we want to deny the rules and want the things we can’t have- so why not take away the restriction and therefore take away the obsession?
Thanks for reading along with my thoughts and if you have any worries with this issue or any eating issues feel free to contact me 🙂 I am off to enjoy a low key Sunday night with the bf (who is google how a hot and cold tap works? Oh help me..haha!) and I have a 5:45 step class tomorrow morning; so early to bed for me! Night all!
Have you made it through the overeating stage after giving up restricting for so long? How long did it last? Was it difficult? Enjoyable? Short lived?